Ah, wedding season. The middle of the year is a popular time to tie the knot, but after it’s all over, the newly married couple needs a little time to relax. Enter the honeymoon.
These days honeymoon can be a noun that describes the post-wedding vacation or an adjective used to describe the place where the newlyweds sleep during their vacation, as in the honeymoon suite.
But, what does honeymoon really mean?
The word derives from the Old English hony moone. Hony refers to the new marriage’s sweetness, as well as a reference to the European custom of giving newlyweds enough mead, “an alcoholic liquor made by fermenting honey and water,” to last a month. That would keep many a couple happy.
Moon refers to how long that sweetness might probably last, or from the changing aspect of the moon—from full to waning. In French, the equivalent word is lune de miel. The German version is flitterwhochen, from flitter, which means “tinsel.” Not exactly the type of positive thinking a couples counselor would recommend, is it?
Of course, it’s now customary to toast the new couple. But does toast, as in cooked bread, have anything to do with clinking glasses together? It actually does. Originally, a toast was raised to the health of a beautiful or popular woman. The notion was that her name would figuratively flavor or strengthen the drink. And drinks, way back, were actually flavored with spiced toast. As for the ceremonious clinking of glasses, the custom is said to have evolved from fears of poisoning. The idea was that the liquid would spill from glass to glass. It is also believed that the roots of the custom are related to the offering of sacrificial libations to the gods.
These days it’s not just all for the toast—a little liquid helps wash down all that delicious wedding cake, a term that dates back to 1648. Fun fact: wedding cake is also used to describe a style of architecture in which buildings have distinct tiers.
Go ahead and throw the music on before you start having sex if you want, but know you are taking some incredibly real risks in your hands. There’s the possibility of finding, midway through “Body Party,” that you’ve been thrusting to the beat for three minutes and aren’t actually paying attention to your partner. There could be a particularly sick key change that’s better than the sex you’re having and distracts you both from what you’re doing. There’s the keen awareness that you only sexed for 1.5 songs, and that’s way less than the hour you used to spend really getting into it. And then the biggest risk of all is that something will play that absolutely will — and this is a guaranteed inevitability — obliterate the mood. It could be a Spotify commercial, it could be a stray Evanescence song you forgot to remove from your playlist, or it could be some song called “As We Go Up, We Go Down” playing while a guy’s got his mouth on your vagina. No matter what it is, it’ll be unsexy and ruin what probably would’ve been a perfectly nice experience.
Let’s make something clear: Putting on some tunes while you eat a romantic dinner? That’s lovely! Playing some jams while you do some kissing? Pretty OK! But when things start to escalate (you choose where to draw the line, my line is “nudity”), turn off that shit. Be an adult and relish in the sounds of your butt rhythmically slapping a dude’s sweaty abdomen. Unless you want your next orgasm to be soundtracked by Father John Misty crooning about fucking Taylor Swift in a VR headset (thereby ruining orgasms for you forever, probably?) turn off the music before the sex starts happening.
SOURCE: 69 women
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