This piece was written by someone who I pushed away in the past because I did not know better. A few months back, he came back my way unexpectedly, and I would like to believe that we are, after all, meant to be.
Apart for 21 years, we both developed our own demons. We are now in the process of figuring out how to deal with our respective quirks and insecurities, tempers and temperaments, foibles and follies.
We still have a long way to go, but there’s nothing like knowing you have someone who is ready and willing to spend a lifetime with you.
Just imagine my amusement when I found out just recently that has a knack for writing – a big surprise. He has a beautiful mind, and I would like to share this with you with the hope that it would move you, as it did me.
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The Monsters We Hated
Romil Ronald M. Catabona
As a kid growing up, you pretty much have an idea of what you wanted to become. But just as much as that, I knew what I wanted “NOT” to be.
Having a mom who was a fairly known psychologist during her time, it was just natural for me to aspire to become one. I guess that’s how kids are, looking at grown-ups for motivation and inspiration.
Although this is true, I also looked at them for what I didn’t want to become.
Being raised in a fatherless home, I knew I wanted a happy and intact family, where there is a Dad, a Mom, and kids.
People around me oftentimes smoked; I knew I didn’t want to, but I gave in to environment pressure during my younger days. Thankfully, once I tried it, I was all done. Same with liquor; tried it a few times, but I never really developed a taste for it.
As a person, I also looked into other people’s lives for what I wanted to be. I took in the bits and pieces of what – in my head – an ideal person was supposed to be, and did away with what I thought was garbage.
However, I was in for a rude awakening. One can never really plan on what to be, because life has its funny way of throwing you a curve ball. Just when you thought it was going to go one way, it’ll go the other way. At least, for me, that is true.
In life, one can never really play fair, not all the time. You cannot be all “right” or all “wrong”, because sometimes, we can be right but can still be wrong, and wrong but still right, if that makes any sense.
I want to be the coolest dad ever. I want to stay grounded with my kids: a dad that they can be proud of, one that they won’t have a hard time talking to… one that can relate with them.
Not the evil dad, the one they would readily leave alone in the house. One they can’t wait to leave for work. The one they wished they didn’t have.
I want to be the best husband ever. One my wife can turn to and lean on. Someone she can’t wait to leave work for to talk to and be with – a true partner in life.
There’s a difference between what you want and what you actually are or have. The trick is, finding that balance. Realizing you can’t have it all, and making peace with what you have.
And trying not to be the monsters we hated as kids.